a_natural_beauty | Entries tagged with things you may not know about me

I used to volunteer at my local animal shelter. I started in 2018 and it came to an end in 2020 because Covid made things difficult with having the shelter open. I liked it, mostly I stayed in the cat room and worked with the cats. They ended up teaching me a-lot - before this I was more used to feral cats. I actually ended up adopting two that were sickly. They didn't live very long lives but I tried giving them a better life out of the shelter. I would usually go upon a weekend off and stay for about a 6 hour day maybe twice a month.
I'm currently a volunteer at my local library but am sort of stepping back from it due to some things I'd rather not get into. But I do like the act of volunteering and might try something new someday. I'm curious about you guys and if you have volunteered before?

Current Mood: calm

My father is a veteran. He severed in Vietnam. I figured this would be a good one to write about since it is Memorial day. Growing up we didn't talk much about it. We knew as kids (my sister and I) it was something he did. But topics like that and other wars weren't discussed much. It was just a hard topic to talk about with two young girls growing up. He was a veteran service officer for quite awhile. That was a job where he helped other veterans with their doctor apportionment, mental health related care, driving them to apportionments, applying for benefits and I'm sure there was other things I just can't think of them off the top of my head. It was a good job, one he was able to retire from comfortably at an early age.
Recently he has talked to me more about his experiences more. This past winter we actually had some good conversations - things he told me that he has told hardly anyone else. About some of the stuff that went down and what he had to do, how he dealt with it over there. It was basically kids over there fighting a war that they had nothing to do with. To be taken to a strange and unknown place, face danger and death almost daily. To survive and come back to their home and have slurs used against them, trash thrown at them and be hatted for something they had no control over. What a warm welcome indeed.
I could talk more about this, but I feel I want to keep what I know about my dad and his experiences private. I respect him to no ends and now I am here as his daughter as someone to listen to him in his aging years of a time that changed him in a way that no one should ever have to go through.

Current Mood: thoughtful

I have a fear of snakes I am trying to get better about! Recently I have had a snake problem in my basement. Where there have been a few garden snakes in my basement that needed removed. Luckily I was able to get help with this. Now I will be working on figuring out how they are getting in and stopping them. I have old bricks throughout some of my basement and then more modern bricks on the other half. And over the years I've been using morter mix to fill in gaps. Mainly I have put off this side job because of Wiley but also I'm worried there may be more snakes down there!
This fear has always been with me. I can't seem to shake it - whenever I see a snake I just fill with fear. I have no problems with spiders or other 'creepy crawlies'. But gosh! When I see a snake I can't help but become terribly scared. I feel I should hopefully overcome this fear someday. I've only ever seen garden snakes around here. Since I see the on a somewhat regular basis I think it would be wise of me to just be able to be around them and not get so freaked out. They most likely are more scared of us.
Do any of you have a fear of snakes? Or a fear something similar?

Current Mood: uncomfortable
Current Music: Classical music

Swimming is one of my favorite physical actives! Ever since I was a small child I loved to swim. My parents got my sister and I used to water and swimming at a young age. Up until a few years ago my parents had a swimming pool and I would go over there quite a bit to swim. It makes me happy, is good for ones health and if I'm not swimming I'm usually floating and relaxing. It makes me pretty sad now that I don't go swimming much anymore. I wish I had access to a pool regularly. In the past I have thought about getting a membership somewhere but with how my job is now and even before that with the economy I think I will put this plan on hold. I was grateful for my birthday this past year Mike took me to Kalahari (a safari themed indoor water park) for about a day in a half. That was lovely! The more I think about it I just love being around water in general.

Do any of you like to go for a nice swim?

Current Mood: calm

Sort of a random one -but here goes: As a kid (and even now in a way) I had a huge fear of clowns! My parents said it started back when I was a kid and I was at the circus with my family and a group of them came up and did some sort of trick where they squirted water or confetti or some weird thing that clowns do - right in our faces. I was scared and put off by this. So much so that after that whenever I saw a clown I would just get scared. They still make me uncomfortable to an extent. There is just something creepy (to me ) about their clothes, outfits, hair and makeup. They never made me feel happy and goofy the way they do to most other people. While driving home from the funeral for my grandmother some how the subject of clown colleges came up and so did my fear. I felt like this was a good and strange one to share with you all. Do any of you have any fears from your childhood that still sort of effect you today?

Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: Tchaikovsky mix on Youtube

I've gotten bit by several dogs over the years. One is enough I say! But it's been a few and now I have sort of a phobia of aggressive dogs.
It first started years ago when I was a home health aide and I was at a coworkers Christmas party. It was a mansion of a home and I had trouble finding the bathroom. No one knew exactly where it was and I went down a hallway knowing it was in one of about 4 doors. The first door was the laundry room. I opened the door with my right hand there was a dog in it and as I closed the door it lunged at me, biting my left hand/wrist. Sadly blood got all over the place and they had a beautiful home with white walls & floors! Luckily the husband and wife were a nurse and a doctor so they wrapped up and elevated my wrist/hand. It was my first time going in an ambulance. It took a few of those stiches that were like a band aide and came off over time... the name is escaping me! But after using those for a few days/a week or two it healed up nicely. the couple took care of my medical bills. Nothing happened to that dog, which in all honesty it wasn't the dogs fault. There was a-lot going on that evening and a-lot of people and noises so I think the dog was just confused and nervous. I learned a lesson that night - as well as everyone else who was there.

But after that experience after I would see or be around an aggressive dog I would get nervous myself. And this was a bad habit of mine because the dog would usually feed off of it. Most of the other times I have gotten bit or snapped at were while I was working as a home health aide and being in homes/yards with aggressive dogs. One other time I can recall that my skin was broken but luckily I didn't bleed from it, just had a nasty wound for a few days till it healed. Even when I see aggressive dogs in movies or shows - or even hear them in real life without knowing at first where the barking/growling is coming from - I fill with fear.

Current Mood: okay
Current Music: Classical music

I buy about 99% of my clothes at thrift stores! This is just what I wear like shirts, pants, skirts, dresses, ect. But I buy my other clothes like underwear new at an actual store. I just have more fun going through a thrift store looking through the racks than I do a department store. Plus the prices are ridiculous and some of the clothes are just not to my taste. The clothes at a thrift store all have a story behind them I think and as I go through the racks seeing what I can find it just gives me a sense of excitement and wonder.
When it comes to my clothes I also like to try to repair and fix what I have that has gotten a hole or a rip in it. Or just sew another button on it! If I can fix it and wear it a few more times or fix it again and still wear it rather than throw it away and have to buy new... I just don't see the point in doing the later. I have several jeans at work that already are sort of beat up (due to being a housekeeper and cleaning with bleach) so I've just been fixing those up and it's been working out just fine. I do want to learn how to fix socks if I am able to. That may be a useful skill I think.
How many of you guys go shopping at thrift stores?

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Pandora - A fine frenzy station

I grow out my hair and donate it to wings for kids when I can! The way this all happened for me was when I was a teenager my mom got diagnosed with an early stage of breast cancer. I forget what treatment she needed to do but there was talk about her possibly losing her hair. And with that came conversations of wigs. Luckily it never got to that point. I think if she did lose hair it was hardly anything at all. But somehow my sister and I ended up donating our hair. Back then I think it was locks for love. But now with more education on the matter I donate to Wigs for kids. Since they just give the wigs to kids with cancer, a very generous act. Since a wig alone can cost hundreds of dollars!
I grow my hair out pretty long and about once a year/two years depending on how fast it's growing I get it chopped off and donated! I prefer my hair short anyway. Right now it's been getting longer (and slightly annoying) so I'm looking forward to doing it maybe by late spring/early summer. It's my way of giving back.

Current Mood: calm

When I was a girl I sometimes related thoughts from the movie 'Mary Poppins' chimney sweep scenes to my dad's actual job of being a chimney sweep! I knew that wasn't exactly how things played out for him when he went to work, but in my head I liked to image him sometimes dancing and singing along roof tops. We don't have those beautiful rooftops like they do in the movie, but it was still a fun little idea in my head since I was young and you know how magical imagination can be for kids.
Lately I've been listening to the Disney Pandora channel on my laptop while I write, browse or read and the other day they played a Mary Poppins song which brought me back to that movie and that distant memory. He had his own business and a red van that had the name of his business filled with all his tools for the trade. My grandfather - his dad, helped him with it and I think it was overall successful. I feel like this sort of job isn't as needed as it once was so it's sort of an after thought, but for us in my household we appreciated the hard work he did each day.

Current Mood: awake

I have a small collection of Tarot cards and a few other guidance cards as well as runes. My first tarot deck I got when I was a teenager and I still have it. Over the years I've gotten one in Latin, a mandala astrological tarot deck, an adventure time themed one my one friend got me this past Christmas/birthday, an angel blessing guidance deck and the art of war deck that is supposed to help you master all forms of conflict. Out of all of these I have used my deck I've had since I was a teen the most. I go through phases where I use these more often than others. The angel blessing guidance deck I have only used twice that I can remember. This past year I've meditated over them in sage since most of them were used by previous owners.
I also have a good amount of books on the matter. Some I still have yet to use and read as reference.
There are times where I feel more hopeful and open about my readings and what I get. Other times it feels like I had a reading that was unrelated to my questions.
The runes I still need to learn how to use. Maybe this winter will be a good time to try them out and see how I feel about them. I don't have a-lot of knowledge of them, it'll be interesting to learn more.

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: The radio (which has a mix of older & newer stuff!)

I'm childless and happy that way.

For the majority of my life I never felt the want or need to have children or to become a mom. There was two times where I thought for a short amount of time I might want to be a mother and have a family - the one being where I was in my early 20's and lived out on my own and with my boyfriend at the time and really was getting into that whole domestic thing - even through ironically he was never home. Which that plus some other part of our relationship lead to us ending things and me buying my home. It's even more ironic that now he is happily married with a child when that was the future I wanted with him but he didn't want with me. Eh, these things are what lead us to different and better paths eventually. It's funny how life turns out.
And the second time I was out of my control with my hormones. If I ever feel comfortable to write about it I will share it in a private post to those of you I feel comfortable with knowing that part of my life... But to put it simply - it was a lonely and difficult time for me full of a roller coaster of emotions. In my brain I didn't want a baby, but my physical body wanted it. I think this was the worst agony I've ever personally gone through.

I do give so much respect to all of the moms out there - to me parenting and raising a little one is one of the most intense things one could possibly go through. I do get there are many rewards and feelings of happiness, too. It's just never felt like a way I want my destiny & future to go.
I'm sure most of you who have known me for a bit of time know this already, but I felt like this was an okay topic to write about. I don't know if I need to go into this any further and that's okay, too.

Current Mood: good
Current Music: The radio (which has a mix of older & newer stuff!)

My sexuality. I believe I am pansexual. All my life I have been attracted to whoever I am attracted with (a saying I've found online "If we vibe, we vibe" basically). For years I've been sort of confused about if I was considered Bisexual or Pansexual. But I think Pansexual relates to how I feel more. It can be as simple as the way someone may talk to how they dress, their sense of style... or even just who they are as a person. I've found myself liking similar people and then at other times totally opposite people.
I have had little to no experience with others besides males. Mostly due to where I live. When I did online dating and tried dating women it was few and far between finding anyone that we clicked. I do find myself mostly attracted to males and I think that comes down to because that's what I've always known.
Currently I am in a healthy relationship so I don't think I will be looking or exploring this any further. But I felt this was an important topic to openly talk about. I recently read The handmaids tale and The testaments by Margret Atwood - where in those stories it is not acceptable to have such feelings. And I plan on writing my next comic fury review this week about a comic that deals with sexuality as somewhat a main theme. Also with the political world today as it is - gender and sexuality is a very touchy subject to some. I like to be cautious, but in these days even more now than others.
All my life I have been pretty private about my feelings and thoughts. Mostly due to a bad experience I had as a teen with a sibling asking about it in a somewhat aggressive way. I don't want to have to go through that again if I can help it. So I only find myself talking about my sexuality when around those who have open hearts. Don't feel bad about my past experiences, I think it was something that shaped me into who I am today.
I found this article talking about the differences between bisexual and pansexual to read before I wrote this. It was written last year, but may be helpful to some of you: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/bisexual-vs-pansexual#fa-qs

Current Mood: awake
Current Music: Pandora - A fine frenzy station

I have a huge soft spot for all things little and in unexpected situations - this may be an insect in the wrong place at the wrong time and about to be stepped on to a plant that may be dying and just hanging on! I cannot help it, but my heart aches for these little living creatures whatever they may be.
I've saved dozens of little bugs that others around me jump and scream at. How is it their fault for being there? The wrong place at the wrong time is honestly what I think. The world is such a difficult and confusing place for these little guys - so I try to save them when I can. usually my rescue attempts go well, but sometimes they can be difficult.
When it comes to plants I usually try to spare myself the pain of seeing them in the clearance section on death row. I feel like some stores just get so many plants these days they don't know what to do with them! So they end up just getting neglected or being in too crowded of areas and not being bought during whatever that season is, so they need to get them out of the store to make room for whatever is "in season" next. This probably isn't the case everywhere, but I feel I've seen it enough where I live. So once in awhile I will go in these clearance sections and buy up a few, give them love and they live in most cases.
And finally in the past I used to volunteer at my local animal shelter. It was a nice experience overall but I ended up adopting two sickly cats. And they both lived somewhat short lives in the grand scheme of things, but I tried to give them the best lives I could. I adopted a dog years ago who was literally on death row for being too old and the dog shelter running out of room. He was to be put down in a few days for this reason. But he had a good 3 in a half years - to 4 years with me. I've adopted a few Walmart fish over the years and those even lived a somewhat more decent life.
Maybe it goes back to just my nature or something on a deeper level... but I cannot help but help those who I think may need me. It makes me feel useful and gives me purpose.

Current Mood: awake
Current Music: Classical music

Today while at work I was thinking of this as an entry to write since when it happened I was thinking to myself 'If they knew that about me, maybe that wouldn't have been said/joked about"... a weird situation involving a joke between two coworkers about burring the place down. It was obviously a joke but I find jokes like that involving fire, burring things, playing around with fire, ect. in poor taste.
When I was a little girl I lost a brother to a fire. He was an adult at the time and had a place of his own. Well it was a night he came home late from a wedding I believe is how it went and was normally a heavy sleeper, when he woke up to the fire his place was already filled with so much smoke he couldn't see well to get out and got a closet mixed up with the door - both being next to each other. Passing out in that closet and having too much smoke in his lungs was too much. And that's what caused his passing.
This isn't something I share with many people. Heck, I don't remember him because I was five when it happened. But it had a big impact with how I grew up. Hardly having and using candles in the house, keeping up with smoke detectors, having a well known fire plan to leave the house, the impact it had on my parents and other siblings... I just think sometimes people can be insensitive. But how are they to know? They don't. And that's what makes all of us all the more complicated. I'm not mad or bitter about it. Not even upset like you would think. It just got me wondering about stuff, that's all. My mind likes to wander.
I think I may write more things like this to share with you guys. Each of us have our own stories and experiences and it is comforting to share them in this safe space.

Current Mood: content
Current Music: Pandora - A fine frenzy station