#14 Things you may not know about me

[a_natural_beauty]

My father is a veteran. He severed in Vietnam. I figured this would be a good one to write about since it is Memorial day. Growing up we didn't talk much about it. We knew as kids (my sister and I) it was something he did. But topics like that and other wars weren't discussed much. It was just a hard topic to talk about with two young girls growing up. He was a veteran service officer for quite awhile. That was a job where he helped other veterans with their doctor apportionment, mental health related care, driving them to apportionments, applying for benefits and I'm sure there was other things I just can't think of them off the top of my head. It was a good job, one he was able to retire from comfortably at an early age.
Recently he has talked to me more about his experiences more. This past winter we actually had some good conversations - things he told me that he has told hardly anyone else. About some of the stuff that went down and what he had to do, how he dealt with it over there. It was basically kids over there fighting a war that they had nothing to do with. To be taken to a strange and unknown place, face danger and death almost daily. To survive and come back to their home and have slurs used against them, trash thrown at them and be hatted for something they had no control over. What a warm welcome indeed.
I could talk more about this, but I feel I want to keep what I know about my dad and his experiences private. I respect him to no ends and now I am here as his daughter as someone to listen to him in his aging years of a time that changed him in a way that no one should ever have to go through.

Comments

[jasonderoga86]

Much love and gratitude to your dad, Jess. Too many people in America don't understand what war does to a person, and that's why they can callously hurl all sorts of obscenities at our servicepeople in uniform. Far too many Americans don't valorize our servicepeople unless they gave the ultimate sacrifice -- a nation that only honors its soldiers when they're dead is a blind and uneducated nation. Worse still is how the government has treated veterans -- instead of even thanking them for their service, the government is dismantling every remaining resource for assisting veterans with mental health issues and loss of limbs/bodily function. It's the ultimate disrespect, and the fact that the current whack-job in the Oval Office has zero military experience -- he literally dodged the draft for the Vietnam War by fabricating a fake doctor's report about "bone spurs" to obtain deferments while others wound up in prison for refusing to consign to the U.S. Armed Forces -- spent his entire first term denigrating fallen soldiers and the Medal of Honor (saying the Medal of Freedom is worth more because celebrity status is all that matters to a lowlife like him), and is now lecturing the whole country and the world about what makes the most powerful military in the world by bragging about gutting diversity programs and complaining about "four years of open borders" as if that has remotely anything to do with military service... it is embarrassing. Simply embarrassing. Trump shouldn't even be allowed to show up at ceremonies honoring the military -- someone who ran away from serving his country in the past has no business boasting about the U.S. military, period.

I took today to remember my late friend Steven Weatherford Jr., who perished in a house fire last Christmas morning. He was set to propose to his girlfriend and invited her family to his dad's house on Christmas Eve. Alas, a fire broke out the following morning and threatened the safety of everyone inside. Steven managed to get everyone out of the house except himself and became disoriented after the fumes got to him; the fact that Steven had asthma didn't help his case. Losing him on Christmas Day -- which is also my mom's birthday -- was the cap on a year in which I lost four people, now five. I was angry at the world, angry at my city for the budget cuts it made to our fire department due to an incompetent (and now criminally indicted) mayor, and angry at Life for breaking my heart so many times during a year-long worsening mental health crisis. The fact that I was able to formally say goodbye to Steven back in late January and still manage to get my old job back is why I've accepted my psychiatrist's perspective of being resilient -- that I'm still standing after what was arguably the worst year of my life thus far speaks volumes. And going forward, I keep Steven's memory close to remind me to keep on keeping on. At his funeral service, I gave a speech on how Steven made the ultimate sacrifice for his loved ones that Christmas morning... and he didn't even need a uniform to prove it. I'll never forget how the church congregation erupted into applause and cheers in response.

I thank your dad for his service to this country, and I will respect the privacy of his experiences. You have an awesome family, Jessica -- never forget that. 😇

[a_natural_beauty]

Thank you for sharing that story with me. I appreciate the kind words you've offered my dad as well.
I'm sorry you've lost so many at such a young age. That can really tear up a heart. But sharing the stories and the memories I think can be healing in a sense. <3

[hauntedrose]

I thank your dad for his service.

[a_natural_beauty]

I appreciate that. <3

[cornerofmadness]

my father is also a vietnam era veteran but he was spared by like 10 days from going there when his father died and he had to be released early as the only provider for his mother and 9 year old brother

[a_natural_beauty]

Wow, that's a heavy burden! That must of been a hard experience for him!

[cornerofmadness]

I'm sure it was

[flirtable]

My uncle is a Vietnam veteran as well. He rarely talks about his time there, but when he does I grab hold and listen.

Also, my grandfather was a veteran of WW2, and while I saw pictures of him from the war (he was a radar technician in Virginia), he rarely and I mean rarely as well spoke about it. (He has passed on now).

I, thank your dad for his service.

I, thank you for sharing about your dad as well. We can learn a lot from their service in the wars.

And no need to share anymore than you want to about your dad if you dont want too. His privacy is respected.

[a_natural_beauty]

I in return thank your dad and grandfather for their service.

Yes, it was a very different time back them - both times. All we can do is listen and learn of their experiences. I appreciate your kind words, thank you. :)

[brisus]

Vietnam was a difficult war for sure. My FIL served as a chaplain and I'm sure he saw some things, but I don't think he was on the front lines. He was the next one scheduled to go, but the war ended right before that. He was spared for that at least.

Thank you to your father for his service! Highly respect you for maintaining his confidentiality.

[a_natural_beauty]

That's good your FIL was spared going.

I greatly appreciate that and you sharing your family's story. :)

[adafrog]

That's great that he's talking to you more about it.

[ashleygamer6]

My ex gf was discharged from service for bipolar, so now she's living it up with the free money...just gaming all day. lol

[a_natural_beauty]

Thank you, I appreciate that.

[catherines]

Thank you to your father for his service. I admire and respect Veterans so much. Hearing their experiences from war is a privilege, an honor, and a gift to be trusted with. I had a client who was in the El Salvidorian war and he was 15 and also talked about just being a child and being forced to grow up amidst death and destruction. Horrible.

[a_natural_beauty]

I appreciate your kind words. Wow, that must of been a horrible experience for them to go through.
Yes, I have so much respect for veterans as well. The experiences they go through for their countries is such a sacrifice. <3