a_natural_beauty | Entries tagged with medication

Gosh, where do I start with this month? It has been a bit of a chaotic natural month...But I got through it. First off, as you guys know - my parents health has been up and down. Having both of them in the hospital this month and a few days apart took a mental and physical toll on me. But now are both home and I'm happy for that. With both of them in their late 70's I take every day I can get with them as a blessing.

A-lot of things were set on the back burner due to what was going on with them, but that is okay. In all honestly I see that my readers of Promised Memories will wait and that's okay. At first it made me nervous - not posting for a week, but I have slowly been back at it.

I feel like the medication to help my depression and anxiety before and during my period has been working better now. I go back in July to talk to my doctor further about how I have been feeling. Currently I have been feeling less sad and depressed during this time of the month. I still felt a bit cranky a few weeks ago, but it didn't last as long or feel as deep as it has in the past, if that makes any sense. Like my feelings of being cranky were lighter and I got over my mood quicker. Now if only I could be on a pill that could make the physical pain all go away and make my periods only a day long! :-p

Everything for my yard/garage sale is all in a big pile and boxes in my art/plant room! I'm almost free of all these belongings I don't need! I've been exploring my house like a girl trying to find hidden Christmas presents! Trying to find treasures I don't want or need anymore!! It's been sort of fun... the other day I found about a dozen picture frames. Half of those are going!

I adopted some new indoor plants a few weeks ago. I haven't wrote much about my plants as of lately, but I plan on it soon. With all the names of them and whatnot. Over the last few years I have gotten more and more of a green thumb. Talking to them, loving them and just giving them what they need... it's a comforting feeling. I come from a family of plant lovers. A few weeks ago my older brother came over and dug a hole for my mom's one baby pine tree. And we all sat outside around it and visited for a bit. It was nice. A friend of mine (I met her through my mom actually!) gave me a lilac bush and I planted it in my yard yesterday.

After this yard/garage sale happens I want to rearrange my house some. I did this earlier this week with my room upstairs that I now use for my laptop and to work on my puzzle. It's been nice to have a space free of clutter.
I also plan on getting back to my stamps!
And starting to work on art more. I deeply miss painting. I bought an easel a few weeks ago at a yard sale and plan on using it. It's the perfect height for me! I haven't done much painting standing up, so that would be a nice experience.

Sapphire is doing well! She is such a lovely and smart little girl! She is always ready to eat and quick at getting it! I'm so grateful I was able to get her, it's been nice spending time with her and talking to her. Betta fish are truly underrated little guys.

This is a much longer post than I thought I would share. But I'm glad for it. I wanted to get on here earlier in the week, but the days kept escaping me. I'm going to try to spend more time on here in the future.

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: Beautiful Ghibli piano melodies

So March has been a good but busy month! (I feel like I may be saying that about every month for the rest of my life ^^) But again, I feel like positive about it overall.

Firstly a new project I have been at work doing is each week getting some pictures together from my mom and dad's family albums to have copies made for my own albums. It's been a project for sure, and just last week I found out my mom has some extra albums! I'm not getting photos of all photos, but the ones I feel important. Hopefully that doesn't sound self centered. In the future I'd like to write about my family more and my ancestry and DNA results I've gotten which have been an interesting experience.

I've been going through more stuff for my future yard sale. I will be so relived when all of these boxes will be out of my house! Hopefully my old treasures will bring others joy, whoever may want them.

Pokemon Go has been a fun distraction from the daily news and things that depress or make me anxious. I once heard about a study years ago that said spending time doing something you enjoyed as a child that brought you joy may have the same effect. And I feel that is true. At least with this experience. I just sort of forget about the world around me and focus on the game that makes me happy.. Don't worry, I am safe with my surroundings!

I've been taking mental health breaks from social media. I still go on maybe once or twice a week, but other than that I just don't bother. Sometimes it just feels like a waste of time. Scrolling and scrolling. Who ever thought we'd become this sort of society? I mean, it's good because it brings us together - but at times I feel it brings us apart in the same sense.

Promised Memories is still going strong. In May I'm going to find a new platform to share it on. On Comic Fury it has gotten so much support and each day I log on to read new comments and see a new subscriber when they do makes my heart fill with happiness. It's such a powerful feeling to create something like a comic or a story.

Here on Dreamwidth I've found some new friendly faces to talk to and get to know. That has been a nice experience. I love talking to many different people and learning about them and their lives. Also two new Pokemon Go players from here! Whoot woot! :-p That's been a fun, nice surprise.

My medications have been helping I think. Later in April I go in to talk about them and see how they are doing. I did notice bouts of depression over the weekend, but I feel like that was mostly directed at a video game and not feeling smart or quick enough for it. So I've taken some days off from playing that. It may be weird, but things like that I just want to stay away from for now. I'd rather put my energy on what makes me feel good and happy.

I'm trying to think of more to update you guys on, but I think this may be it for now. April will be a busy month, but it'll be a good one I think. I have art related projects to do and more spring cleaning. I hope all of you are doing well.

Current Mood: good
Current Music: 90's, 2000's today's hits on Pandora

So February was a pretty quick month! I feel like mostly what I got accomplished was reading. I got a bit more done on that puzzle I started back in October. Also I've been going through books and other items I plan on trying to sell in a garage sale later this year. Whatever I don't sell I plan on just donating, since I feel like I just have a-lot of stuff I don't have an interest for anymore. Which isn't bad, I've always believed we accumulate too many material possessions in a lifetime and I would like to learn how to live with less. I haven't been doing much with my stamps, but I am done sorting all of them. Which is an accomplishment. Next step is writing down all the countries I have and how many from each country (an example is 1 page, 2 pages and so on) so when it comes to trading in the future I can focus on places I have little or no stamps from. Also I want to take pictures to share on FB for others to see to know what I have to trade.
When it comes to art I am back caught up with Promised Memories, which is a good feeling. I do want to start doing fan art soon in the month of March and I want to try to do a quick water color painting maybe once a week to get my skills back up.
I'd like to start trying bird watching again now that I feel like I may have more time. Write down what I see, I started a notebook a few years ago when I did it.
And mainly this past month I was still getting used to my thyroid medication and figuring out my depression and anxiety and now my body is getting adjusted to a new medication. But I've been feeling more hopeful about my mental health.
I'm trying to think of more updates with my hobbies and such, but my mind is drawing a blank. But that's okay - here's to March and trying to get back into more art. I feel like that is where my life has been lacking.
I hope you guys have all been doing well and taking care of yourselves. Life is too short.

Current Mood: awake
Current Music: Pandora - A fine frenzy station

So yesterday marked week one for taking a new medication, Escitalopram oxalate to help with my depression and anxiety. My sleep was pretty terrible the first several days, but slowly I'm getting back into that routine again. My issues was I would wake up at night, wide awake and it would be difficult to go back to sleep. So this would result in me sleeping a-lot during the day - taking naps on my breaks at work and when I would come home. Another thing I was going through was feeling nauseous. While I was eating or soon after. So that made eating less fun than it normally is. And lastly today I had a pretty strange dream, my doctor said that was a side effect of this medication. It was pretty detailed and long, so I won't go into all of that. But the last few days I've been feeling somewhat better. Still very sleepy, but that's a side effect of this drug. I'm hoping it goes down since I feel like I'm already tired enough these days.

And after I talked to my doctor about my mood going through ups and downs and my emotions all a wreck a week to two weeks before my period I learned about something called PMDD - Premenstrual dysphoric disorder. After reading up on it a bit more, I found out this was similar to my struggles during this time. And now with my thyroid working property I wonder if the two may be connected somehow, with my hormones and all? I've noticed the last few months this past summer and fall were pretty bad for me with my moods and depression. Here is a link to PMDD if anyone is curious about it:
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9132-premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder-pmdd?ref=popsugar.com&=___psv__p_5106243__t_w_

Current Mood: peaceful
Current Music: Classical music

When I found out this past October that I was most likely going to need to get on thyroid medication I was in shock. In all 35 years of my life I was never on medication (besides an allergy pill for a few months at a time) and the idea that my body was to depend on a pill scared me. I'm not opposed to pills or medication, I just don't like the idea for myself. I know it works for so many around the world, there's no doubting that. Here I am over 4 months later and I have seen the effects this medication has on me. I brought up a few months back about my depression and how I want to get ahold of that issue next.

My doctors visit is the day after tomorrow and I'm going to admit about my depression and how it makes me feel. That I think I need help, to talk to a professional. And that fills me with fear. I have in the past gone to therapists and counselors. They weren't the best experiences. I've been thinking maybe I should look into getting a medication for my depression. If that could help me handle it. Sometimes I am on cloud nine and then all of a sudden I get very sad and depressed. Like a snap of my fingers. Mostly this happens before my period. I hope as you guys are reading this it doesn't gross you out or feel too personal. Sorry if it has that effect. Other times it can just be when I come home to an empty house. I'm hoping that maybe by getting my betta fish that will help with some of my loneliness. At times it happens when I am sitting around others who are happily engaged in talking about their lives and future plans. Sometimes I feel like I don't have much of a future. When it hits I just get so sad. Sometimes I will just feel lost even surrounded by my loved ones. Or I'll be driving down the road and hear a song that brings me to tears. I've always felt I feel things on a deeper level and as I've been aging I feel it more intensely. Even now in writing about this and being open about it, it feels good but it still hurts so much. Hopeless is a good word to describe how I feel when it happens. I just don't know how to manage. Sleep only works so long for so much. But I have been back to taking naps again almost daily. I feel most of it comes from my head. A chemical imbalance that hopefully can be numbed.

I feel vulnerable at the thought of explaining to my doctor how this overcomes me at times. But I know it needs done. I worry about my mental health and how it's taken a toll on my physical health. Also I'm worried by going on a new medication it might change me. I mean, it'll help if that's what I need - but I guess I'm just nervous about the unknown. For those of you who have been in similar situations, what got you through? Thank you for listening to my rambling of this mess.

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Arcade Fire Radio on Pandora