a_natural_beauty

I'm childless and happy that way.

For the majority of my life I never felt the want or need to have children or to become a mom. There was two times where I thought for a short amount of time I might want to be a mother and have a family - the one being where I was in my early 20's and lived out on my own and with my boyfriend at the time and really was getting into that whole domestic thing - even through ironically he was never home. Which that plus some other part of our relationship lead to us ending things and me buying my home. It's even more ironic that now he is happily married with a child when that was the future I wanted with him but he didn't want with me. Eh, these things are what lead us to different and better paths eventually. It's funny how life turns out.
And the second time I was out of my control with my hormones. If I ever feel comfortable to write about it I will share it in a private post to those of you I feel comfortable with knowing that part of my life... But to put it simply - it was a lonely and difficult time for me full of a roller coaster of emotions. In my brain I didn't want a baby, but my physical body wanted it. I think this was the worst agony I've ever personally gone through.

I do give so much respect to all of the moms out there - to me parenting and raising a little one is one of the most intense things one could possibly go through. I do get there are many rewards and feelings of happiness, too. It's just never felt like a way I want my destiny & future to go.
I'm sure most of you who have known me for a bit of time know this already, but I felt like this was an okay topic to write about. I don't know if I need to go into this any further and that's okay, too.