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A few days before Christmas my family got together some donations for the local animal shelter. While we were there Mike had wanted to look at the dogs. They were cleaning so we couldn't go in and look at all of them so he had the choice of finding one to look at from the website. So he picked one, a 1 year and 8 month old mixed breed named Wiley. Long story short he adopted Wiley.
But due to him still having to live where he lives now and me living where I live an hour and 10 minutes away the dog Wiley will be back and forth between our homes. Until he can move in. Which is how it'll have to be for at least 6 months or so. In a few short days of having Wiley around it made me realize how nice having a dog is and now I'm bummed this is going to be how it is for that amount of time. The last time I had a dog was several years ago and honestly I thought I would swear off having a dog again. Having him around while living alone is nice and then having him gone like this reminds me of how lonely it is to be alone. Also I think it's a mixed of the holidays and other factors that are making me feel sad & anxious over this and not as excited as I once was.
I used to volunteer at that same Animal shelter and it's important to set up a good routine in the first three months. The first few weeks and first three months in general are a pretty important time for the animal being adopted. So now being bounced around between houses stresses me out because I don't think it's going to set a good schedule for him. But this is his dog so I feel like it's important for the dog to stay with him. Also the dog is more attached to him than me.
I'm mostly using this post/blog to vent since it's been on my mind for several days now and it feels good to write it out. I'm not trying to bash my partner or anything, I'm just stressed over this and it's going to be a long winter and spring. I'm glad to have this safe space to write about this. I feel you guys won't judge anyone in this situation. Right now I'm trying to remind myself of the serenity prayer and how this is something I cannot control and to keep myself emotionally from getting too involved with the dog for now. Until things are different I think this is the best for my mental health. It may sound selfish but yesterday and last night I felt a sadness and anxiety I haven't felt before and it really sucked.
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I have a huge soft spot for all things little and in unexpected situations - this may be an insect in the wrong place at the wrong time and about to be stepped on to a plant that may be dying and just hanging on! I cannot help it, but my heart aches for these little living creatures whatever they may be.
I've saved dozens of little bugs that others around me jump and scream at. How is it their fault for being there? The wrong place at the wrong time is honestly what I think. The world is such a difficult and confusing place for these little guys - so I try to save them when I can. usually my rescue attempts go well, but sometimes they can be difficult.
When it comes to plants I usually try to spare myself the pain of seeing them in the clearance section on death row. I feel like some stores just get so many plants these days they don't know what to do with them! So they end up just getting neglected or being in too crowded of areas and not being bought during whatever that season is, so they need to get them out of the store to make room for whatever is "in season" next. This probably isn't the case everywhere, but I feel I've seen it enough where I live. So once in awhile I will go in these clearance sections and buy up a few, give them love and they live in most cases.
And finally in the past I used to volunteer at my local animal shelter. It was a nice experience overall but I ended up adopting two sickly cats. And they both lived somewhat short lives in the grand scheme of things, but I tried to give them the best lives I could. I adopted a dog years ago who was literally on death row for being too old and the dog shelter running out of room. He was to be put down in a few days for this reason. But he had a good 3 in a half years - to 4 years with me. I've adopted a few Walmart fish over the years and those even lived a somewhat more decent life.
Maybe it goes back to just my nature or something on a deeper level... but I cannot help but help those who I think may need me. It makes me feel useful and gives me purpose.
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It's been a busy week, I must say! I feel bad I haven't been on here this week, but at the start of the week I had some stuff going on each day after work and I just felt drained. Plus it's April, which means it's the "30 days of characters" event on Comic Fury I like to do so that's been taking up some time.

BUT GUESS WHAT? :-3

I got my female betta fish! Her name is Sapphire and I'm not sure about you guys, but at times I believe in fate... while I went in a couple of weekends ago to get some chemicals to get my levels right in my tank Mike and I checked out the betta fish. This was at a Pet Supply plus. They had a whole collection of female fish! A few weeks ago Mike and I checked out all sorts of stores and came across few to just about none female betta fish. I wanted to try having a female this time since Sunny my last Betta fish was a male.
And there she was, this tiny blue bundle of joy. Just swimming around and keeping an eye on us. The date on her package said 1-26-23. I'm not sure if that's her date she came in the store or what... but regardless we tried getting the store to hold her - they couldn't. Since my tank wasn't ready yet. But what Mike did was go back a few days later after I added the new chemicals and bought her. And brought her over, got her adjusted to her new home and here she is! It's been just about a week and I'm so happy to have her in my life. She's very curious, smart and always wanting to eat.

I hope everyone is well - I will try to catch up on reading and writing more this weekend.

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