a_natural_beauty

I haven't been on here writing or drawing or on comic fury over the last 2 weeks now I think(?) because of some recent news regarding Wiley - Our dog Mike and I got this past December. On April 10th, Wiley was out at Mikes house with him for the week - I think the last morning I was on here and writing I got news that Wiley got out as they were putting him on his lead outside. He ran several minutes lose, got into the street with Mike close behind and got hit by a car. Luckily he wasn't killed, but he was scratched up quite a bit and had an injured back right leg. He was still babying it when they came out to my house that Friday so we went to urgent care and found out he has a fracture in that leg. Because of his age luckily (again!) they put it in a splint and said there's a good possibly that it could heal within the next several weeks - up to 8 now to be exact. If not it'll then be a surgery for him.
So this has taken center stage of my life since there's no way I want him going back to Mikes house since there are two cats that make him go crazy, many more people he has unexpected reactions from, more deer outside to see and bark at as well as more cars he can see due to being near the road. He needs to stay off of it as much as he can and get as much rest as he can. This is difficult because he's usually a high energy dog. His first vet visit related to this whole mess was this past Tuesday. They seem positive it'll heal. Also they gave us some medications to help keep him calm which is helping a-lot.
This situation has drained me. Mostly emotionally. Also mainly financially. Since he cannot take on the bills I must. To be honest this was the main reason I didn't want a dog again. Because in the past I've always had sick or injured animals to care for and it's cost me so much money. Also I mainly wanted a smaller dog. Something under 20 pounds. Wiley is over 30 and picking him up to take outside for the bathroom is physically difficult. It's been hard to focus and do things like I have been. But I have been getting better. Mike has been able to stay and help with Wiley this week so that's been good. We did start a Go fund me and that's been a huge success. Slowly I will get back onto reading online comics and drawing but for the moment I have been taking a break. I'm glad he is better and on his way to healing but it's been a draining time to say the least. The uncomfortable fear of his leg needing surgery when this is all said and done and they do an x ray in several weeks is there. Already this has cost me well over $1,000 and still counting with each visit he needs. I'm glad my job has picked up with my hours or else I'd most likely be getting a second job.

A few days before Christmas my family got together some donations for the local animal shelter. While we were there Mike had wanted to look at the dogs. They were cleaning so we couldn't go in and look at all of them so he had the choice of finding one to look at from the website. So he picked one, a 1 year and 8 month old mixed breed named Wiley. Long story short he adopted Wiley.
But due to him still having to live where he lives now and me living where I live an hour and 10 minutes away the dog Wiley will be back and forth between our homes. Until he can move in. Which is how it'll have to be for at least 6 months or so. In a few short days of having Wiley around it made me realize how nice having a dog is and now I'm bummed this is going to be how it is for that amount of time. The last time I had a dog was several years ago and honestly I thought I would swear off having a dog again. Having him around while living alone is nice and then having him gone like this reminds me of how lonely it is to be alone. Also I think it's a mixed of the holidays and other factors that are making me feel sad & anxious over this and not as excited as I once was.
I used to volunteer at that same Animal shelter and it's important to set up a good routine in the first three months. The first few weeks and first three months in general are a pretty important time for the animal being adopted. So now being bounced around between houses stresses me out because I don't think it's going to set a good schedule for him. But this is his dog so I feel like it's important for the dog to stay with him. Also the dog is more attached to him than me.
I'm mostly using this post/blog to vent since it's been on my mind for several days now and it feels good to write it out. I'm not trying to bash my partner or anything, I'm just stressed over this and it's going to be a long winter and spring. I'm glad to have this safe space to write about this. I feel you guys won't judge anyone in this situation. Right now I'm trying to remind myself of the serenity prayer and how this is something I cannot control and to keep myself emotionally from getting too involved with the dog for now. Until things are different I think this is the best for my mental health. It may sound selfish but yesterday and last night I felt a sadness and anxiety I haven't felt before and it really sucked.