a_natural_beauty

A few days before Christmas my family got together some donations for the local animal shelter. While we were there Mike had wanted to look at the dogs. They were cleaning so we couldn't go in and look at all of them so he had the choice of finding one to look at from the website. So he picked one, a 1 year and 8 month old mixed breed named Wiley. Long story short he adopted Wiley.
But due to him still having to live where he lives now and me living where I live an hour and 10 minutes away the dog Wiley will be back and forth between our homes. Until he can move in. Which is how it'll have to be for at least 6 months or so. In a few short days of having Wiley around it made me realize how nice having a dog is and now I'm bummed this is going to be how it is for that amount of time. The last time I had a dog was several years ago and honestly I thought I would swear off having a dog again. Having him around while living alone is nice and then having him gone like this reminds me of how lonely it is to be alone. Also I think it's a mixed of the holidays and other factors that are making me feel sad & anxious over this and not as excited as I once was.
I used to volunteer at that same Animal shelter and it's important to set up a good routine in the first three months. The first few weeks and first three months in general are a pretty important time for the animal being adopted. So now being bounced around between houses stresses me out because I don't think it's going to set a good schedule for him. But this is his dog so I feel like it's important for the dog to stay with him. Also the dog is more attached to him than me.
I'm mostly using this post/blog to vent since it's been on my mind for several days now and it feels good to write it out. I'm not trying to bash my partner or anything, I'm just stressed over this and it's going to be a long winter and spring. I'm glad to have this safe space to write about this. I feel you guys won't judge anyone in this situation. Right now I'm trying to remind myself of the serenity prayer and how this is something I cannot control and to keep myself emotionally from getting too involved with the dog for now. Until things are different I think this is the best for my mental health. It may sound selfish but yesterday and last night I felt a sadness and anxiety I haven't felt before and it really sucked.