I'm still hurting, especially since even before Joshua's passing I was already reeling from a horrible Friday evening. On that day, I was coldly denied entrance to a San Francisco club by a White guy because he thought I was on drugs (I looked "twitchy", and to him that was grounds to assume I was mentally ill and thus a threat).
My friends (and the guy's boss) cussed the hell out of him, but I didn't stuck around for that. I WAS suffering mentally from a horrible day, and the club outing with my friends was supposed to be my escape. Instead, I was reminded of why people like me (not just Black, but also "assumed" to be a threat because I was showing signs of mental exhaustion) are still targets of racism and discrimination. And in SAN FRANCISCO, a city I loved ever since childhood. But hey, we're living in an age where Blackness is more of a sin than ever in America. I guess I have to play along. It's not like I have a CHOICE.
People I love are dying or either being distanced from me, while pain-in-my-posteriors are always popping up. Even the job I love is becoming a problem due to co-worker bickering and disrespect towards our disabled clients. I'm not sure WHAT to think anymore, and the therapy that could help me through it all seems to be constantly yanked from under my feet with cancellations and delays. It's really hard right now.
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My friends (and the guy's boss) cussed the hell out of him, but I didn't stuck around for that. I WAS suffering mentally from a horrible day, and the club outing with my friends was supposed to be my escape. Instead, I was reminded of why people like me (not just Black, but also "assumed" to be a threat because I was showing signs of mental exhaustion) are still targets of racism and discrimination. And in SAN FRANCISCO, a city I loved ever since childhood. But hey, we're living in an age where Blackness is more of a sin than ever in America. I guess I have to play along. It's not like I have a CHOICE.
People I love are dying or either being distanced from me, while pain-in-my-posteriors are always popping up. Even the job I love is becoming a problem due to co-worker bickering and disrespect towards our disabled clients. I'm not sure WHAT to think anymore, and the therapy that could help me through it all seems to be constantly yanked from under my feet with cancellations and delays. It's really hard right now.